Monday, March 30, 2009

v22.7 - Tired

Morning folks,

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I'm tired today. It could be from lack of sleep or my poor diet or my poor exercise habits. In fact, it is most likely all of the above and my constant craving for snack food late at night. Time for a change.

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Hope you like the redesign of the site. My mother was visiting this weekend and she made a comment about getting errors while trying to make comments. Of course when I changed the theme last I didn't fully test it (who has time for that these days?) so I wasn't aware there was an issue. Luckily I jumped on it right away and made the change so you can all post comments again. All 2 of you.

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I was sick on Friday. To make matters worse the kids had the day off from school as well. Let's just say I didn't get any rest and it would have been just as productive to come to work sick. In hindsight, I probably should have because there were some issues on Friday that could have used my attention. Fortunately there are Mondays and all the crap that built up on Friday and over the weekend (yes, despite putting in a full 40 hour+ week during the week, some people around here feel it necessary to work weekends too) is sitting here waiting for my undivided and urgent attention! So much for the nice relaxing rainy drive into work.

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As I sit here sipping my coffee I can't help but wonder how things would have turned out had I made different choices in my career. Growing up the last thing I wanted to do was work with computers. I had wanted to be a police officer like my father. I had wanted to be a writer and teacher during my High School days because I enjoyed reading and writing and excellent teachers who inspired me. After High School I worked at being a Pastor and was even accepted into two Christian Colleges where I would train to become a servant of God. As luck would have it, I ended up dropping out of life itself and went to work in the woods. I did that for a few years and then decided I had had enough of this place and moved out West where for some strange reason, I got into computers.

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Here I sit today behind 2 LCD monitors and a laptop and I think back on all the different opportunities I had. If I had wanted to become a pastor or a police officer I'm sure my parents would have done everything they could to help me. Even though those desires came and went the one that has stuck with me through the years is being a writer and teacher. Of course some would say it's too late in life to want to chase those dreams but I don't feel that way at all. In fact, if I could get my hands on some money I would drop what I'm doing and go back to school and chase that dream in a heartbeat. That is about the time when real life comes crashing down on me and I realize what a silly notion it was and go back to my flickering computer screen and being to type aimlessly at the blinking terminal prompt.

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Is there light at the end of the tunnel? Of course, there always is if you look hard enough. On my spare time (haha, right) I am working on a story that will be great if I could only sit long enough and work on it. The only times I have to actually sit in quiet and work on it are late at night and I always get side tracked with gaming or movies so I never actually get a chance to buckle down. I had played with the notion of quitting WoW completely and moving away from gaming so I could focus my goals and while it pains me to think of all the friendships I'll miss if I do that, I need to think of my life and the life of my family first so I am in a moral debate with myself. I KNOW what the answer is but I find I am always in conflict with myself and think up reasons to debate what I already know is true. It is one of those things we all have trouble with where the knowledge of what we know is right conflicts with what we want. A great example is that person who knows smoking will kill them but don't want to quit so they make up reasons why they can't quit. Such is life.

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Well folks, not really sure what my message is today in this musing. I know I've typed over 800 words in a little under 10 minutes so I must have really had something on my mind. I'll need to come back and read this one again in a few days after things have settled down to read what I wrote.

Until next time.

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Cheers,
Al

6 comments:

  1. Testing comments just to make sure my mother doesn't call me up complaining that comments are still broken :)

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  2. Alan, you speak straight from my own heart! Except you're one step ahead of me, knowing what your heart always goes back to, with writing and teaching.. I had no idea you ever wanted to do any of that.. and it's never too late.. no matter how old you are. When I was in University, we had a 48 year old lady who always sat right up front row and center listening so intently to our Psych prof and asking any/every question she could think of.. it really inspired me to know that it's never too late to do anything you set your heart/mind to. When you focus your attention on the goals instead of the obstacles in the way, you will figure out a way.. there's always a way! Whatever is meant to be, will be.
    You were always a natural born writer.. also very good at drawing as well.. you are more artsy than you realize... speaking of, I have to give you back your art book, I just found it again the other day!! Oh the memories!

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  3. PS - LOVE the new layout! Loved the new layout yesterday too.. lol every time I come on here there's a new layout.. they all look great! :)

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  4. What ??? No Aprils Fools musing?? You're slipping Alan.. hehe
    Love the new layout Alan, and yep... loved the one before this too. Love, love, love that this one has a pic of you on it. My handsome son.
    I'm not the person to give you advice on life choices. I've made a few doozies myself that didn't work out very well and goodness knows, my goal in life was never to be a shipper/receiver at Sobeys... lol I'd love to know what true happiness in the workforce would feel like... working because you love your job and not just because you need a paycheck. Listen to your heart and your sisters advice.. she's young enough to still believe that anything is possible. I hope she's right.
    Keep working on your story.. I can't wait to read it someday.
    Love you

    (By the way, I think my laptop is the one giving me errors.. it wouldn't let me post for days but the desktop gives me no grief... I'll have to look into that.)

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