Contempt is the weapon of the weak and a defense against one's own despised and unwanted feelings.
- Alice Duer Miller
Howdy Folks,
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It is the weekend. Typically I don't write during the weekend but for some reason I felt like writing a quick post. I'm having a huge internal debate right now which is causing some unnecessary stress and strain on me. I think I've made up my mind on the issue, but none-the-less, I'm still debating it for some strange reason.
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As the title of the musing suggests, I've been doing quite a bit of sighing these past couple days. A lot of it has to do with work and life, but part of it has to do with the decision I've been debating. Seems like every time I turn around I'm sighing at one thing or another and I just can't seem to stop. When I look at the current gas prices, I sigh. When I look at the retarded laws our country is trying to pass right now, I sigh. When I read about all the senseless killings and deaths going on in our area of the world, I sigh. It is so easy to be self involved in one's life that you don't see the big picture and see all the things around you. This past week I took a step back and I started noticing things I hadn't noticed before. People I hang around with now annoying the hell out of me and I can't stand being around them. Perhaps I'm over analyzing things?
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I don't wan to bore you all with the details of my life, but I do want to share on of the things I've been pondering on a lot lately; gaming. I've been a gamer since as long as I can remember. It all started back on my Atari when I was a wee lad all the way up to today. I've always found great comfort and immense frustration in gaming. Ask anyone who knows me and has watched/heard me game :) While my temper isn't what it used to be, it is still there and it manifests itself every so often. Over the years I've learned to control my temper a bit. In most cases, I end up giving up on a game before I get too frustrated because I know my own limitations and know if I continue down a certain path, it can only lead to more frustrations.
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My gaming lately has taken an unfortunate turn. There was a new game recently release which has captured the attention of quite a few of my friends. As a result, they have started spending a lot of time playing this game. This is ok. I'm a bit frustrated because I really want to like this game, but I can't seem to bring myself to keep playing it. The game is good, but the content is very repetitive and annoying. I have a bunch of characters all under level 30 that I play around with on and off. I just can't seem to keep myself interested in the game longer than an hour (maybe less) a day and I hate it because I hear them having fun and I can't join in because my level is too low (due to being bored of the game and losing interest). I have cancelled all gaming subscriptions that I have (including this one) and within the next couple weeks I won't have any online gaming subscriptions. I'm thinking this is the best course of action for now as Summer has officially started (woot!) and I don't plan on sitting in front of the computer daily playing games.
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Anyway, part of me wants to continue on with this game and see if things change, another part of me wants to just walk away and forget it all. I've made some great friends in the last couple years gaming and I want to keep that, but I feel if I step away from the gaming the friendships will die and that is difficult to think about. This is just one of my dilemas :)
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Well folks, I'm going to go and log off for the night (yes, it is only 8pm and I'm logging) so until next time.
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Cheers,
Al
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