v8.8 - Smoke and Mirrors

Morning folks,

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Another day is apon us, another day behind us. Today is the day we do things that make us famous!

Or if you''re like me, you are holding your breath waiting for this day to be done and a new one to begin.

{slurp}I'm sure many of you have heard the comment "Smoke and Mirrors". This is typically used when talking about a magician performing tricks. I don''t claim to know all the secrets in magic as there are many things I have no clue how they are done. I''m pretty sure, somewhere along the way, smoke and mirrors will be used to trick the viewer''s eyes and create the illusion of magic.

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Some of us use this phrase in our jobs. You have some higher up managers drop by your office to have a chat with your team. They give you the warm and fuzzy feeling inside that only a parent can give to their child. Patting you on the head telling you what a good boy or girl you have been. Problem being, corporate executives are not my parents and I am not their child (despite what they seem to think). You pat me on the head and tell me I''ve been a good boy and you''ll be lucky if I don''t wrap your arm around your neck two times before performing some 80''s wrestling move on you (back when I used to watch it).

I hate managers more than I hate anyone. They are very good at using the preverbial smoke and mirrors everyday to put a smile on their employee''s faces and create unity and harmony among the little folk. Makes me sick.

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I heard a joke a long time ago which sums up how I feel exactly.

A corporation is like a big tree full of monkies. The Monkies on the top (Managers, Executives, etc) are looking down the tree at the company and see nothing but smiling faces. The monkies at the bottom of the tree (the regular Joe employee) are looking up seeing nothing but ass holes.

True, so true.

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I have often sat and thought about what I would do if I was ever offered a management position. I''ve talked with my boss about this as well and everytime it comes up, I respond with a Never. There is no way I would ever want to be in my boss'' shoes. If he was ever let go and the company picked me to take his position; I would resign. I''ve seen the stress of his job and have heard a lot of horror stories about how difficult it is to do something things like hire a new employee.

A couple VPs were in the office yesterday to give us the nice warm and fuzzy treatment. Yeah, they made us feel good for awhile, but it didn''t take long for reality to set in. One of the comments made was to let us know how we are growing. Since the start of 2005, my company has hired over 1,000 new employees. 1,000!!! My first reaction was to say who cares. 1,000 employees could be damn near anything.

"We hired a team of sanitation engineers to work in the office during the evening hours. We are very excitied about this prospective new team who will be joining an organization near you."

I look at our own team and see one new hire since January 2005 and we''ve lost 6 people. I don''t know about you, but that just screams something bad is coming.

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Anyway, smoke and mirrors is something we do everyday while at our jobs or at home. Smoke and Mirrors is nothing more than an illusion to hide the reality behind something. When you are at work, you find ways to do things that are not work related but you make it look like you''re working. This is the same as being a magician using smoke and mirrors.

You go home at the end of the day and you stub your toe on a piece of wood. Your child is sitting there watching and you yell out FUDGE!! Smoke and Mirrors again. We constantly hide the truth behind something else. Whether you are unusually chipper in the morning when inside you feel like a bag of shit, or when you''re at work and you smile for all your bosses but *censored* about your job in a musing or at the water cooler. Bottom line, we use smoke and mirrors every single day.

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Well folks, I need to run for now. Think about what I said. Try to find circumstances in your day-to-day life where you use smoke and mirrors. I bet you will be very surprised to see the results. Give yourself a pat on the back, you are a great magician. :)

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Cheers,

Al